Belly laughter!!!

Friday was rather interesting at work..i haven't had this much belly laughter in a while!!

Doctor: Have you had any constipation or diarrhea?

(i'm thinking....what? there's no possible way..lol)

Patient: Yeah both

Doctor: Hmmm...Hmmm... Hmmm... So is your buttocks dry heaving or what?

Patient: Kind of


I was standing outside of the door waiting for the doctor to come out so that I could do labs, and I busted out laughing sooo hard.. I couldn't stop for like 15 minutes..

So I twittered about it..and one of my twittering friends made this comment:

"when it dry heaves, does it make like a hollow whistle sound or what? like blowing into an empty 2 liter bottle? ...lol "

I laughed the rest of the day..i had to tell the doctor about it and she's pregnant.. she almost peeded her pants...too funny...I then shared this story with all my friends.. Sooo much belly laughter to say the least!!!

DNA paternity testing kit goes on sale for 30 dollars

WASHINGTON (AFP) - A swab, a consent form, an envelope and a waiting period of three to five business days is all there is to settling paternity issues with the test kit that went on sale Wednesday at some US drug stores.

Identigene, which runs a DNA testing laboratory, said its DNA Paternity Test Collection Kit went on sale at the 4,363 Rite Aid drug stores throughout the United States, except New York.

The swab in the kit is used to collect a saliva sample, to be mailed to the Identigene laboratory for an analysis that costs additional 119 dollars.

It takes three to five business days to get the test results, which are delivered by mail, email, or online through a secured Web service.

The paternity test kit is already a hit in California, Washington and Oregon states, where they have been selling on a trial basis since November, Identigene said.

"Demand has been very strong, store sales are brisk and Identigene has been inundated with questions regarding the product's availability," it said in a statement.

Test kit buyers include women who want to know the identity of father of their child -- or unborn child -- as well as people looking for their parents.

Sold without prescription, the paternity kits are not allowed as evidence in court, where more precise and costly DNA tests are required.


WOW..WHAT WILL MAURY AIR ON HIS SHOW NOW????????

"The Pastor's Ass"

THE PASTOR'S ASS"

> The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

> The pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

> The local paper read:

> "PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT"

> The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor

> not to enter the donkey in another race.

> The next day, the local paper headline read:

> "BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS"

> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

> The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

> The local paper posted the following headline the next day:

> "NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN"

> The bishop fainted.

> He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey,

> so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

> The next day the paper read:

> "NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10"

> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

> The next day the ad lines read:

> "NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE"

> The bishop was buried the next day.


The moral of this story is:
Being concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery. .
even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone Else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer.

Guitar Hero @ my house

My new ink!!!!

Check out NVMC

My niece Destiny

My niece is soo silly...she talks,laughs, and jokes just like me. Shes a spitten image of me....but she doesn't look like me ok..lol..anyways tonight I came across a picture she posted on her myspace and I was crackin up..I couldn't believe her silly butt put this picture on her myspace. But, she's just like me, she doesn't care what people think!

When she was first born her intestine blew up, the did surgery. (that's where the first small scar comes from) Then when she was a year old, I had her one night at church and she started vomiting non stop like a water faucet. We had to rush her to the hospital. Her intestine had blown up again...they had to do surgery on her again (that' where the bigger scar comes from)

Anyways Destiny has never been afraid of her scar she has always shown it to everyone. ....She has also been in dance and ballet since she was 4. Destiny has always wanted to be a model but because of her scar this has been a stumbling block for her. So instead she has decided to take on acting. I'm so proud of her for not letting people's disgracing comments or remarks get in the way of her hopes and dreams!

!Welcome to the world little Camyrn!

My cousin Stephanie from Pennsylvania had her baby girl a few weeks ago, she named her Camyrn.
I can't wait to see her!
Stephanie is like the sister I never had....we used to get in suuuum trou-ble. I'm so happy for her I hope her daughter is as bad as she was...lol jk! Congrads Stephanie~~~~

Big Al day #2 in the hospital

Today I went and saw Alec at the hospital..his color looks better. But, he's still not eating! He's still complaining of a stomach ache. The doctors said he has type A Flu....usually people get the type b flu..but the type A is worse and highly contagious. Still continue to keep him in your prayers!:)

Pray for Big Al

My nephew was admitted into the hospital today...keep him in your prayers! He's been vomiting for two days and running a fever, so he's pretty dehydrated.

They see me rollin.....

They Hatin....
Tryin catch me ridin dirty

We are in Ashland for the weekend...my aunt has a huge house..it has a 1/2 of a basketball court and a theater room.

Caption Please.......

School day #1

Well as you know i'm in school...i've been currently takin on-line classes until tonight. Tonight I started a new class which lasts 8-weeks. I wanted to take this class b/c the teacher is awesome, I had him over the summer. He's pretty laid back plus he's a pastor of a church and we get a long great!

I got to class tonight and there were only 14 students, a few of them I had in my last class...Lo and behold I had flippen Aaron in my class again, a kid that I had to sit next to in the last class. He was sooo annoying I don't know how many times he let the class know that he was in the "special" classes in high school. (I video tapped him sooo many times)
There was this guy/nerd tonight that looked like one of the guys on "beauty n the geek" he had Harry Potter glasses on... anyways..he had a whole handful of pennies and nickles that he kept stackin on top of each other and lining them up across the desk..i don't know what was up with him..lol...
We had to get into pairs and yeah well I got paired up with tha nerd/a guy that had dip in his mouth/ and some other guy that thought he was a genius!

Mr.Engle gave us a quiz, yep on the first day and shooo nuff I was the only one with a 100%......sweetness!!! I will have to say this class is going to be interesting~!!!!!

Redneck pics..

I got this email today...and I had to share some of the photo's with you guys!
You might be a redneck if your bass boat looks something like this...












You might be a redneck if you use toliet seats for horseshoes...hahahha














The funniest one....was...You might be a redneck if you have to get fashion tips from your husband..lololololololol

tHe WeEkEnD!!

This weekend was jam packed!!!!

**After I finished my audits for work on Friday I went to lunch with the homies. Gotta love Waffle House!! Samantha made everyone remember what we used to do with our chocolate milk when we were 5..ha

**My date out cancelled Friday nite b/c of the snow so Monica and I went to meet everyone else to go sledding.. Bad idea....My windshield wipers kept getting stuck b/c of the ice...BUT i finally learned how to drive in the snow...sloooowly

**I gotta say...I loved the snow...I usually hate it..but the sledding was a time I won't forget to say the least! We went sledding for about 6 hours yesterday!! I will be posting pictures tomorrow..plus the details on how i bruised my tale bone..so check back tomorrow... there's just about 30 plus pictures that I have to go through!

**I ended up getting my nephews after the sledding adventure and well i'm sooo tired...they completely wore me out!!! (Alec is 7 and Zak is 5) We woke up this morning and I forgot that their shoes were completely wet, I didn't have any other shoes for them...so I came up with the brightest idea!!! I put zip lock baggies on their feet and then had them put their shoes on!!(they were complaining on how cold their feet were, but hey at least they weren't wet huh?) Also they thought my kitchen was an all you can eat buffet..and well I really didn't care I got tired of telling them to get out of the kitchen. This morning I think they had about 10 breakfast bars a piece along with oj, milk, and kool-aid. I was sooo glad to send them home!:)
We had fun at the Family fun nite..Zak ended up having to sing and Alec ended up in jail. Also Alec threw a pie at Demetric and it landed right in his face...funny....BUT ....Pastor singing "Sweet Home Alabama" was PURE COMEDY...he kept saying "i don't know the words"....ummm they were on the screen!!!hahahhahaha

My blessing is on the way.....

Can you say job's and better jobs?

A few weeks ago I had to go to Cincinnati and train on a new system, then bring it back to Louisville and train everyone else on it. I was rather frustrated b/c I have group leaders above me that get paid more than me and I was rather ticked that I was the one having to train them.. My mom told me to apply for their position, I explained to her that there was not a position open and I didn't see either one of them leaving anytime soon.

Every week I go to church and I faithful pay my tithes. When it come to saying the declartion on the screen. I say to God "I know i'm not going to get a better job with in my company b/c there's no where else to move up, so please open a door even if I have to go to another job"

Well today I found out that one of my group leaders has decided to step down....I truly feel like this is God's will for me to get this position... I'm going to apply for it this week. So please keep me in your prayers!!!!

Sometimes I should just be quiet!

Today I was working at one of our patient service centers:

Patient: "I really like your glasses"

Me: "Thanks!"

Patient: "I really like them"

Me: "Thanks"

Patient: "Where did you get them?"

Me: "I bought them on-line"

Patient: "Hmmm, Really"

Me: "Yeah, I get all of my glasses on line because its cheaper than going to the eye doctor and they just rip you off.

Patient: I'm a Optometrist

Silence.........

After he left I started laughing sooooo hard!!!!!!

Paintball Asylum

The college and carrer group at church is going to play paintball this Sat.. i'm too pumped up!!! I used to go all the time back in the day with my old youth group. It just hurts like heck though and you have to be fast...and wear layers of clothes or you will look like the guy in the pic...ha!!

We're meeting at church at 10:30 or you can meet us at Paintball Asylum at 11:00. The cost is $35 per person and that gets you all your equipment plus 500 paintballs, for every 500 paintballs that you want over that there is a $15 charge. It looks like the weather is going to be great! So you should come out and have some fun with us!!! Don't be a wimp!!!!

Volleyball has started!!!!!!!!

The "Special K's" are going to win the championship!!!!
Last nite was our first game, we barely lost 2 out of 3 but that's ok....we haven't ever played nor practiced together. Also we two of our guys were out sick and plus our "Star" player was late..lol..hahaha..anyways..Here's some of my team-mates...

Scotty celebrates his 1st birthday!

Scotty celebrates his 1st birthday!

Louisville Zoo is throwing a big birthday party bash for baby elephant Scotty on March 15; Zoo admission only $1. The party begins at 11 a.m

This gives me a chance to spend the day with my nephews and niece:)

What I read tonite....

2 Samuel 22:33 (The Message)

32-46 Is there any god like God?
Are we not at bedrock?
Is not this the God who armed me well,
then aimed me in the right direction?
Now I run like a deer;
I'm king of the mountain.
He shows me how to fight;
I can bend a bronze bow!
You protect me with salvation-armor;
you touch me and I feel ten feet tall.
You cleared the ground under me
so my footing was firm.
When I chased my enemies I caught them;
I didn't let go till they were dead men.
I nailed them; they were down for good;
then I walked all over them.
You armed me well for this fight;
you smashed the upstarts.
You made my enemies turn tail,
and I wiped out the haters.
They cried "uncle"
but Uncle didn't come;
They yelled for God
and got no for an answer.
I ground them to dust; they gusted in the wind.
I threw them out, like garbage in the gutter.
You rescued me from a squabbling people;
you made me a leader of nations.
People I'd never heard of served me;
the moment they got wind of me they submitted.
They gave up; they came trembling from their hideouts.