Prayer changes things!

Tonight I went to Meijer's to grab a couple of things, as well as get a birthday card for my little sister. She just turned 10, yeah I have a little sister...she lives with my dad! As I was traveling through the aisle on my way to the card section I passed by the books. I'm not a reader at all. BUT, I started back to school just a week ago and my teacher has been on us about reading. I actually have to write a reading autobiography..yeah i know it's dumb! Anyways...I came across this book........
I started flipping through the pages and found myself thinking of how it would have been if I did have my dad in my life. Questions after questions started to overwhelm me.....Would I be in church? Would he be in church? Would I be finished with college yet? Would I be married yet? Who will walk me down the aisle if I ever get married? What will I tell my children when they ask who their grandpa is? What will I do if something ever happens to my mom?
It's been over a year since I've seen my dad, over 3 year's since I've had a relationship with him and a few months since I've spoken to him.. I know that there are several choices that I have made it my life that wasn't wise and I know that it was a result from not having a dad in my life to guide me and show me the ropes. Do I blame him?...No not anymore,I forgive him for the choices he has made. And if he ever decides to make things right with me than I will welcome him with open arms. But until then I will continue to pray for him! Sometimes my frustration/confusion does come out, and also my trust towards other males but I continue to have faith in the Lord that he will be my Leader, my Father and my Guide! I know everyday may be just a ordinary day to most but everyday to me is different because I always have in the back of my mind "what if" dad is going to come back into my life again!

It Didn't happen today ...I'll just pray for tomorrow!:)